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Gettyimages.com/Couple smiling at one another in bedroom (focus on woman)

Many women have the wish to have a penis, just for one day, so that they can know exactly what it feels like—what feels good, what feels bad, what men like, and what men don’t like. Men say that the penis is a simple, straightforward organ, but it really is not. If it were simple and straightforward, then men wouldn’t have to give us any instruction, or sometimes say, “Ow!” We’re trying our best. But only the owner of the penis knows what amount of pressure, friction, or speed is right. A lot of men also complain that their parents ignore their member entirely, just going straight for intercourse and skipping the foreplay. So some of us may overcompensate by paying it attention in the wrong ways. So, here it is, from the mouths of men: things you should never do to a penis.

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Go down there when it’s soft

It’s awkward for everyone. He doesn’t want you interacting with his small, soft, shriveled member. Don’t go down there until he’s hard. Then he’ll be glad to have you down there.

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Go down there after eating spicy foods

You know how it feels when you eat spicy food and accidentally rub your eyes? Well imagine that sensation on your genitals. Yeah. Ouch. Men don’t want that either so don’t go down there after eating spicy food.

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Slap it

If your partner is into being slapped, that does not include his penis. If he likes it rough, that does not mean he wants you being rough with his penis. You can do all the crazy, aggressive BDSM things you want but when you get down there, be gentle.

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Keep your hands off of it

For goodness sake, show it some love. Don’t just lie there, letting him do all the foreplay, and wait for intercourse. Yes, he’ll still enjoy himself either way—he’s a man who is getting sex. But you’ll come off as selfish.

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Look away from it

Don’t look away from it. That doesn’t make him think you’re enjoying yourself very much. If you’re uncomfortable with the site of the thing, Google some images, watch more adult films, and get used to it. Imagine if a guy looked away from your vagina…

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Fail to give it a rest

If you want a long night in the sack with plenty of sessions, just know that your man’s member needs a rest. If he says it isn’t ready, it isn’t ready. So don’t start trying to stimulate it because it’s sensitive.