Are you the most hated person in your workplace?

Gettyimages.com/A group of entrepreneurs are brainstorming, going over paperwork at a meeting at a business cafe. Overhead shot.

The workplace is such an odd and unnatural place. In a perfect world, the only person you should care about impressing is your boss, and the powers at be. You’re there to do a job; not to make friends. But the reality is that the powers at be aren’t the only ones in power and we all know it. You need to make friends with your coworkers, too. There is no knowing how many secret alliances exist—how many employees who are technically on your level are also best friends with and in the ear of your boss. For strategic reasons, you do need to make nice with your coworkers and care what they think about you (even if you don’t like them!). Also for just plain social reasons, don’t you want to get along with the people you spend so much time with? It’s quite possible that they understand your life more than your significant other or best friend does. On that note, are you the most hated person in your workplace?

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They avoid eye contact and keep chitchat brief

If you wind up in the break room or elevator with your coworkers, they don’t look at you. They don’t stop texting or put down their book. They are clearly closed off to conversations. If you ask them a question, they keep their answers short and don’t ask anything in return.

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They look down or even sneer when you talk

When you address a group—say, during a meeting—everyone looks down at their phones, at their laps, or even at each other. Sometimes, you swear they’re sneering. But they certainly aren’t looking at you attentively.

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Your ideas are never passed

If there is a group vote about something, nobody ever votes for your idea. Ever. Often, your suggestion doesn’t even make it into the pool of options.

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They are condescending

If you pay attention, you realize that they speak to you as if you’re a child, or very, very dumb. They answer your questions with a tone that implies your question was stupid.

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They double-check your work

They’re often looking over your shoulder to make sure you didn’t make a mistake, or giving you input that you didn’t ask for. Meanwhile, they let one another happily work away, without supervising each other.

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You’ve run into them at social hour

You’ve run into them out of the office, clearly on a social outing, and nobody invited you. The thing is that this has happened several times.

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They enter the break room when you clean your dishes

Nobody is ever in the break room when you go to eat lunch, but the moment you start cleaning your dishes, people begin to file in.

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You’re given solo tasks

If a project must be broken up into several tasks, with each task requiring a different number of people, you’re always assigned the one-person task.

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They laugh together; but not with you

You see your coworkers enjoying conversation with one another—laughing, and riffing. But when they speak to you, they keep it solemn and professional.

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Your birthday is barely acknowledged

Everyone else gets a huge to-do, but your birthday is pretty much forgotten. Maybe someone adds, at the very end of a mass work email, “Oh yeah and it’s so-and-so’s birthday everyone.”

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People don’t realize when you’re gone

You’ve come back from being sick or going on vacation and realized that nobody even noticed you were gone.

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They dispute everything you say

When you state a fact or opinion, people immediately question it, combat it, or shut it down.

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When one is mean, nobody defends you

There have been times when a coworker was blatantly rude to you, in front of others, and nobody came to your defense.

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They never ask about you

Your coworkers never ask about your life outside of the office—not about your family, your dog, your dating life, your weekend…nothing.