What to expect as a vegan dating a meat-eater

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Diet doesn’t seem like it should be a deal breaker in a relationship. And for most couples, it doesn’t have to be. If one person is a health nut and the other needs to melt cheese on his broccoli to stand the stuff, both individuals can usually find some middle ground, and certainly a restaurant for date night. But if you’re a vegan who is dating a meat-eater, you’ll be surprised how often your differences in food choices affect your relationship. When people say that veganism is a lifestyle, they aren’t joking. We live in a meat-eating world, so when you’re a vegan, a lot of activities become complicated, and some destinations even become off-limits. When you add a meat-eating boyfriend to the mix, things get a whole lot more complicated. Here are moments you can expect as a vegan dating a meat-eater.

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You’re often told to bring your own food

His friends and family often remind him that you should bring your own food to the bbq because they’re making meat. You partially appreciate that they remembered, and are partially offended that they can’t just pick up a little tofu.

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You feel like a burden on travel

He can’t just book you surprise plane tickets because you’d have to make sure the hotel has vegan options, that the airline has vegan options, and that you’ll generally be able to eat wherever you go.

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Your partner tries to make you dinner—it’s a disaster

Your partner has the best intentions and tries to make you a vegan dinner, but he has no idea what he’s doing, and it’s a disaster.

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You try to make your partner dinner—it’s a disaster

You also try to make your partner a vegan meal. You’re pretty good at this actually, but you can see that even the best vegan meal won’t make him forget about meat. In fact, you catch him inhaling a burger outside later that night.

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You feel rude at his friend’s/family’s home

You have to ask his friends and family if there is butter in that or chicken stock in this. You feel rude, but you also don’t want to become sick.

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Being a plus one at a wedding

When your partner invites you to be his plus one to a wedding, that’s a minefield. They typically don’t offer a vegan option, so you have to load up before, or bring snacks—which looks odd at a wedding.

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Your boyfriend tries to tempt you

Sometimes (particularly after the two of you have been drinking) your boyfriend tries to tempt you to eat meat. At first, it’s funny, but then you get insulted that he doesn’t take your lifestyle seriously.

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You try to convert him

Of course, you can’t become too mad when your boyfriend tries to convert you because you try to convert him all of the time.

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His friends tease you

His friends think they’re totally free to tease you, roast you, and make assumptions about you. You have to pretend to be okay with it so you don’t come off as high-maintenance, but it actually really bothers you.

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His family studies you

His family gives you the third degree when you visit. They try not to make it look like the third degree—they try to make it seem like they’re just taking an interest in you—but they’re clearly judging you.

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Your faux vegan “meat” is never enough

You are dead-set on trying to get your partner to admit that fake vegan meat can be just as good as the real stuff, but he never will.

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You feel bad that he feels bad

You can see that sometimes your partner feels bad about eating meat and animal products in front of you. And then you feel bad. And then you feel annoyed at yourself for feeling bad because you didn’t do anything. Ah!

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He’s low-key embarrassed of you

Sometimes, when you are about to explain to someone that you can’t eat that thing because you’re a vegan, your partner cuts you off and says, “We already ate a lot earlier.” You can tell he doesn’t want some people to know he’s dating a vegan.

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The kids talk is a whole other ball game

You can’t even touch the discussion of, “If we have kids, what will we feed them?” One thing at a time.