Stigmas about childless women that should stop

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Since the beginning of time and up until about the turn of this century, women have been expected to have children. Not only has childbirth been expected of them, but it’s also been considered perhaps their main purpose on this planet. Never mind that some women have cured infectious diseases and discovered new land. Nope—reproducing one more little oxygen-sucking, resource-consuming being would have been a greater contribution to humankind at large, naturally. Fortunately, in recent years, it’s become less-okay to accuse a woman of being evil or even useless for not having kids. But just because people cannot (well, some still do) outright state their disapproval of childless women doesn’t mean they don’t absolutely still show it in other ways. And it definitely doesn’t mean they don’t think certain things about women who choose not to reproduce. Here are stigmas about childless women that need to stop.

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They cannot nurture

Many women who don’t have children are tremendously nurturing to everyone in their life. In fact, you could say they are some of the most nurturing people because when they do nurture someone, it isn’t because they’re obligated by blood—it’s out of the kindness of their hearts.

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They are impatient

Mothers are naturally patient and women who don’t have kids never develop patience, right? Tell that to the moms who scream at their kids in grocery stores or try to buy any toy they can to keep their children quiet and nearly invisible. Mothers can be impatient; non-mothers can be patient. There is no correlation between motherhood and patience.

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They are picky and particular

Because they never have to live with kids who push their boundaries and force them to give up their ways, right? I know plenty of mothers who treat their children more like a militant group—requiring them to clean their room three times a day and keep noise level to a minimum unless they want to be on time out. And I know women who don’t have kids who are some of the most lax, easy-going people I know.

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They are egomaniacs

Some say childless women are egomaniacs because they want to dedicate all their resources to their own growth and development. Could we not perhaps say that wanting to reproduce a miniature version of yourself to carry on your bloodline has echoes of egomania, too? None of it is nice of either party, so let’s say neither is true and leave it at that.

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They can’t get along with others

So they don’t want a family. They want to be alone and isolated, right? Last time I checked, women who don’t have children have more vibrant social lives than those who do, exposing themselves to more diverse groups of people than those who remain at home with their spouses and mini-mes.

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They want immortality through their careers

And what do we call it when someone wants to keep their bloodline going forever and ever? Is that not a desire for immortality? Hmmm…

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They must come from bad homes

Just because a woman doesn’t want a family doesn’t mean she doesn’t like the one from which she comes. In fact, a lot of women who come from bad families particularly want to have kids to get a sort of do-over in the family department.

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They want to be promiscuous

Yes, of course. If a woman doesn’t want to be bogged down by a child it must be so she can go out and have tons of wild sex. They are just sexual fiends who want an endless line of suitors at their front door. They want to have so much sex they don’t even have time to eat or sleep. Sure. Let me know when you find someone like that—oh right, those are called men.

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They don’t want to get older

While becoming a mother certainly forces you to graduate from the category of a child, women who don’t have kids don’t have some delusion that they’re still children.

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They think motherhood is dumb

Many mothers seem to think that non-mothers judge their lifestyle and think that they (moms) are the ones messing up. Most non-moms actually completely understand the desire to have kids, while still not having that desire themselves.

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Nobody would stay with them

Some people think if a woman won’t have kids it’s because she can’t get a man to stay with her. Naturally, having a family ensures couples stay together because the divorce rate is so low in this country. NOT!

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They hate men

It’s common to believe non-mothers won’t have kids because they hate men and don’t want to perpetuate the species. But then again, I’ve never heard a woman who hates men more than a woman in labor.

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They think they’re better than other women

Women who don’t have children do not think they are superior to moms in any way. It’s possible that moms who think that are just projecting some of their own regrets onto non-moms.

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They’re unnatural

They must be witches or demons or robots if they don’t want to have kids. Some chromosome must have been messed up. Clearly, there’s something off about them because they won’t do what is “natural.” That being said, humankind at large does a lot of things today that aren’t “natural” like eating gluten, using electricity, and using birth control.

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They can’t handle it

This is a tricky accusation. Perhaps women who don’t have kids don’t think they could handle it, but isn’t it better they acknowledge that? Unlike the many people who have children who really can’t handle it, and weren’t willing to admit it?