The terrible dating advice men give one another

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Men talk about dating just like women do, but sometimes I wonder if they should turn to their female friends for advice instead. After remaining quiet and listening to my male buddies advise one another on their dating woes and journeys, I’ve come to realize that a lot of guys do not know what they’re doing out there. If a man you’re dating ever does something totally out of left field that leaves you wondering, “How did he think that would be a positive thing?” you can almost guarantee his male friend told him to do it. Honestly, I think the problem is that the guys who are good at dating and relationships don’t share what they know—they’re too busy, off somewhere, snuggling or having sex with their girlfriend. That leaves the single men to advise each other. Gulp. Here is the terrible dating advice men give one another.

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Be persistent

Letting a woman know you like her and are available is one thing; refusing to leave her alone after she’s told you several times she isn’t interested in another. You know what’s attractive? Showing respect and giving space when it’s asked for. If a woman isn’t interested, the only chance you have at changing her mind is respecting what she said.

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Agree with everything she says

We aren’t a bunch of egomaniacs who can’t handle an argument. If we can tell you’re just agreeing with everything we say, we actually feel like you don’t respect us and don’t think we’re intelligent. We are smart and mature enough to have someone disagree with us.

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Neg them

I can’t believe there are still men who think this tactic works. Maybe it works on really immature, insecure women with no self-esteem. But is that who you want to attract? Most quality women will write you off permanently if you neg them.

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Take a while to respond

Why? Because women like mystique? You know what women actually like? Good communicators. Excellent planners. Reliable individuals. And those types of men respond to a text within a couple of hours.

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Take them to McDonald’s

On the flip side, some men tell their friends to take a woman to McDonald’s just to make sure she isn’t after them for there money. But women don’t like tricks. We see right through this and we just feel disrespected. You should be smart enough to tell if a woman is after you for your money, without having to take her to McDonald’s on a first date.

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Mention other women

Because women want men who other women want, right? That’s typically the logic behind this piece of advice. But most mature women will find it incredibly rude if you mention the other women you’re dating.

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Talk about commitment/family/kids

Naturally. Because we all just want engagement rings and babies, right? Stop right there. Most stable, well-adjusted women will freak out if you start talking about marriage on date number one (or month number one).

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Just stay in the pocket, she’ll come around

If a woman has put you in the friend zone, sitting around and hoping she realizes every other guy is a jerk until you’re the last good one left is not the answer. Tell her what you want. At best, she’ll want that too, and at worst, she’ll at least respect your honesty.

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Women love active dates

Like hiking, kayaking, and rock climbing, right? Um…some women like that. But definitely ask first. Don’t surprise a woman you barely know with a river-rafting trip. She may be terrified of water.

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Hold back on compliments

You don’t need to smother on the compliments but you also don’t need to intentionally withhold them. If a woman is going out with you, she does want to at least know you find her attractive and like her.

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Let her make all the moves

While the intention (to make her comfortable) is honorable here, it may not be the best plan of action. If you remain frozen and keep plenty of physical distance from your date, she’ll feel like you want to get out of there.

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Ease into physical touching

Men love to tell each other this one: start with touching her hand, then put your hand on her lower back in a crowd, sit on her side of the bench, and eventually make your move. We see this coming from a mile away. We don’t like to feel like you’re priming us. Just do things at the pace that feels natural for you. Look for our cues, and copy them (like the hand touching and sitting closer).

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If she sleeps with you right away, forget her

Just because a woman enjoys sex doesn’t mean she isn’t relationship material. In fact, would you rather be in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t enjoy sex? Have fun with that.

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If she won’t sleep with you for a while, forget her

Honestly now: can we stop judging a woman’s character based on when she does or doesn’t sleep with a guy? There is no correlation.