Signs he’s just after you for your money

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Historically men haven’t been viewed as potential gold diggers. The famous Kanye West song is certainly about a woman. The movies and shows that depict gold diggers traditionally show a female after a man’s money. As women, we aren’t really conditioned to consider that somebody could be after us for our money. In fact, we’re conditioned to make sure it doesn’t look like we are after a man’s money. We worry about men only being after us for sex a lot. But money? Not often—unless the woman is famous or has a very visible position in society. But you don’t have to be a celebrity or politician for men to know you’re wealthy. Google can tell people plenty. Having someone date you for your money is painful and even dangerous. Here are signs he’s just after you for your money.

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He’s very opinionated about your work

He involves himself too much in your work discussions—how you invest, how much you pay someone, what you buy and so on. He is so involved it’s almost as if you losing money would affect him in some way.

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He talks about his own money problems a lot

He finds little ways to mention his financial problems. Even if he does so in a joking manner, he makes little comments about his being broke several times a day. He doesn’t want to directly ask you to pay for his life, so he does so indirectly.

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He’s always dated wealthy women

If you think about his dating history, you realize he’s always dated women who were much wealthier than he is. One or two is one thing, but all of them?

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He is noticeably grumpy when you say no to a purchase

When he suggests a new sound system or car you should buy, and you say no, he is noticeably grumpy. He really wanted you to get that thing for yourself so that he could use it and show it off.

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He is paranoid about other people and your money

He gets particularly upset and/or curious when he hears that you’re going to lend money to a friend or family member. He sees that money as his, and he’s only with you for it, so he doesn’t want it going anywhere.

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He takes a lot of calls outside

He takes a lot of calls outside or behind closed doors. He seems shifty-eyed and awkward when you ask who it was. It was probably another debt collector.

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He met you at a gold digger bar

Think about where you met. Was it at a bar that is notorious for gold diggers picking up sugar mamas and daddies? Maybe you never thought of yourself as a sugar mama and you just like that bar, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a target.

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He is bored by nights in

He seems really disappointed when you just want to spend a Friday night in. He is particularly disappointed if you want to be alone one night because, well, who is going to pay for his drinks out then?

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He is borrowing small amounts of money

You have to understand that well-meaning men with pride don’t regularly borrow money from their partners. But gold digging men will ease their way into borrowing large sums of money by first just asking for $20 for this and $50 for that.

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He gets mad when you talk about his career

The truth is that this guy doesn’t want to work—he wants to be a kept man. So when you ask how his work is going or if he’s made any efforts to get ahead, he gets irritated with you.

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He always has some money problem

He always has some bizarre, far-fetched money problem going on and that is never his fault. You’d swear his money problems were the plots for comedic movies about the mafia.

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He’s out of your league and you’re rich

We aren’t supposed to say this one, but we’re more concerned with protecting you overall than just protecting your feelings in the moment. If you’re dating an underwear model who has other underwear models throw themselves at him regularly and you’re cute—sure—but not that, but you are loaded, you have to stop and think.

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He wouldn’t let you quit work to be happier

You’ve talked about retiring early or just taking on less hours at work because you’re tired. Maybe you want to travel or write a book. He always discourages you from this decision—the decision that you are stating would make you happy.

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He says you should treat yourself (but both of you)

He’s always insisting that you should treat yourself because you work hard. But, of course, he’s included in that treat of a massage, yachting trip, or oyster dinner.