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They say you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Perhaps the frenemy was born out of that line of thinking. A frenemy receives the privileges and insights of both friends and enemies. You confide in a frenemy the way you do a good friend, and then that frenemy can use the information you give them to act as an enemy. Frenemies are truly one of the most dangerous types of characters in your life. In a perfect world, people who mean you harm would be upfront about it. Well, in a perfect world there wouldn’t be anybody who meant you harm. But, fortunately, for the most part, many selfish, ill-meaning individuals out there aren’t smart enough to conceal their agenda. The frenemy is dangerous because she’s smart and she can misdirect your attention. Here are signs of a frenemy.

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She plants doubt in your head

When you’re excited about a plan—a plan to ask for a promotion, or ask a guy out—your frenemy plants doubt in your head. She subtly reminds you of the things that could go wrong. She makes you feel insecure about your plan, under the guise of “Just protecting you.” Really, she doesn’t want you getting the things you want in life.

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She tells you mean things people say about you

A frenemy tells you the mean things other people say about you, all under the façade of “Being a good friend” or “Being honest with you.” But really, knowing this information doesn’t help you in anyway—it only hurts you and brings down your self-esteem a notch. But that’s what a frenemy wants.

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She copies you but does it better

A frenemy copies a lot of what you do, but she always takes it a step further. If you get really into Spinlates, so does she, but she becomes the teacher’s assistant. She finds ways to make herself superior or some sort of authority in the things you take an interest in.

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She is too complimentary at first

Frenemies are very complimentary when you first meet them. Frenemies usually identify targets this way: they find a woman of whom they’re the most jealous, and in order to take that woman’s guards down, they shower her with compliments. Once they’re in the inner circle, they start creeping in with the negativity.

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She is too helpful at first

Frenemies are very helpful at first. They’ll offer to do you favors that, typically, only your family or close friends would do. This is another way to get in your trust, get close, and start to bring you down. It’s also a way for them to earn “credit” and ask you for favors later.